Writing is such a blessing to me. It helps me put aside thoughts of myself and try to put myself in others shoes. It lets me put into words the story I want, the ideas I want, the feeling I want. It's how I paint my world in my head. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I didn't write. *big eyes* It would be really weird and I might go crazy. LOL.
When I started writing books it was the settings and romance that I sought to make come alive, but I've gone a little beyond that now. The thing I love most about writing stories is the people. I love to put people in a setting and them make them apart of that setting. The setting comes alive, the person comes alive. The plot is were I love to throw in some hooks. Like real life, you thought you would go to the store the next day but now your staying home because you have to sign for a package when it comes. Only in a story you can make it ten hundred times worse! *giggles secretively* Oh, if only you knew. Tee he he.
Looking back I see how simple and almost silly my stories were. My plots were confused, my people vague, the setting was plain, and the whole idea uncertain. Looking from then to now I nod and can say "I've improved." But looking from now to what I wish I was I shake my head. I don't think I can ever get there. I read so many books and I just can grasp how the author could make the story so real and alive. Did they have the same struggles I do?
Every time I write lately I only see mistakes, the story seems silly, the people unreal. I put to much effort into every sentence that it become hard to get any where on the story. My descriptions need so much work. I wonder if people would laugh or raise a brow at my words. What if my story is pointless? I get to the end and find I've only told half of a story? How do I make you feel as if your in the persons shoes? Can I put the next chapter in place as it should be? What if I mess up some where and the story is confused? Does anyone else that writes fight these thoughts?
I know where I want to go with my writing, and I know what I want to write about. The problem is I don't know how to get there or how to write it as I want.
It's funny how I can be so excited one minute about writing the next chapter in a books to wishing the chapter didn't need to be written.
Now, after all that,(if you've stuck with me so far. I can get a little long winded about certain things;) I have a little treat...or maybe a big lemon, if you don't like lemons.
I'm going to share a chapter from a new story I haven't said anything about on here and ask a few questions. I only ask that you answer them honestly because I really truly want to know what you think so that I can work on where I need to work or stop doing something that interferes with the flow of the story. Okay? Truth only and please answer all the questions!Ready? Get reading!
Chapter One
Where was he? Lily stirred the soup and turned the burner down once again. Why did he insist on working until so late? The days were getting shorter now, and Daddy would be coming home in the dark soon. She would have to talk him into working less hours. She would not have him boarding the bus, then pushing his wheel chair four blocks in the dark.She reached for the nob on the CD player and turned it down. She liked to fill her day with music so the house wouldn't be so quiet and lonely, but right now it wasn't helping her nerves. If anything, it was making it worse. She peered out the window down the street. The neighbor was out turning off his sprinkler in the yard, but there was no sign of Daddy. She sighed and dropped onto the couch. She rested her head on her hand. Glancing at the clock she noted the time. Seven-thirty-two. He was thirty-two minutes late.
She glanced out the window again. Finally! There he was turning the corner. Lily jumped up and stuffed her feet into her tennis shoes. She went out and hopped down the steps.
"Daddy! I was worried. Where were you?" Lily ran to push the wheel chair the rest of the way to the house.
Daddy smiled. "Hello, Lily. I'm sorry to have worried you. I was held up at the office a little longer then usual." Daddy was always so cheerful and upbeat.
"I don't like you going to work so far away, Daddy." Lily took hold of the wheel chairs handles and pushed his chair up the street.
Daddy turned to look at her. "Why? Nothing has ever happened and it's not all that far when I use the bus."
Lily straightened his chair to go up the ramp into the house. "I know but what if something did happen? What if you can't take the bus for some reason?"
Daddy reached out to push the door open. "I have a phone at the office." He took over maneuvering the wheel chair once inside and turned it around so he could face her.
Lilly nodded. "I know." She knelt down to help him take off his shoes. It was the one thing he couldn't do. That and stand on his own.
Daddy put his hand on her head. "I know your worry, Lily. Your Mom worried too." Lily lifted her face to him. He let his hand slid down to hold the side of her face. "I couldn't stop though, Lily. I couldn't bare the thought of being cooped up here, relying on you and everyone else to take care of my every need. I'll be okay."
Lily dropped her gaze and pulled off his right shoe. She knew. He had accepted the wheel chair but he would never accept the lose of working and doing things himself. If, when he had come home from his service in the Marines, he had gotten a normal job, at a store or a bank or something, instead of joining the Fire Fighters he wouldn't be in this wheel chair. Wasn't twelve years of service in the Military enough? No. He had to keep serving his country by become a fire fighter. It had cost him the ability to walk. Tears wanted to escape her eyes but she held them back.
"Lillian?" Lily looked up at Daddy. His blue eyes were soft with concern.
She sigh in defeat. "I know, Daddy." She shook off her thoughts and stood up. "Well, are you hungry?"
Daddy studied her face uncertainty. He seemed to decide to let the conversation slide and smiled. "Sure. I work up a real appetite sitting around all day."
Lily laughed. "Come on to the kitchen. It's hot and waiting."
"Good." He gripped the wheels on his chair and backed up, allowing her to lead the way. He worked his way around the furniture to the table. He set the brake and picked up the mail. Lily served up a bowl of soup and sprinkled on some cheese. She brought it to him with a slice of garlic bread. "Thank you." He pulled the bowl to him.
"You're welcome." Lily sat down beside him, with her own bowl. This was her favorite time of the day. She and Daddy would share each other's day, memories of Mom, or just talk. Tonight though, she was restless. She spooned a bite of the soup into her mouth and watched him glance over a bill.
"Well then," Daddy laid aside the mail and looked over his bowl. He leaned his nose over it and breathed in. "Mmm. Smells good."
Lily smiled. She would have made a joke like, "Smells can be deceiving," but didn't really feel like it. She stirred her spoon around in her bowl. "Daddy?"
"What is it, Pumpkin?" Daddy asked around a mouthful of garlic bread. He loved garlic bread, so Lily always made plenty.
"Will you please not work so long? Try to get less hours or something?" Lily put down her spoon.
Daddy's head came up. "I thought we just talked about this."
"No. I mean, sort of." Lily looked at her bowl. "I was just thinking about you coming home in the dark is all."
Daddy put down his spoon and put a hand over hers. "Listen, Lily. I'll be okay. Okay?"
Lily sighed. "Is it to much to ask you to come home before dark because I love you?" She looked earnestly into his face.
Daddy sighed. "No. No, it's not." He pick up his spoon again. "You're right. I'll ask for shorter hours."
"Thank you. That will be a great weight off my mind." Lily hadn't expected such an easy win, but she would take it. She pick up her spoon and took a bite. She had tried a new recipe and it was good. She'd have to make it again. "So," She sat up straight and gave Daddy her full attention. "How was your day?"
"It was pretty good. A lot of paper work," He wrinkled his nose. "and I had to make a call to a lady that could seem to make head nor tails of what a loan is."
Lily laughed. "What do you mean? A loan is a loan, what else could it be?"
Daddy shrugged. "A free gift of money? She seemed to think we have money just falling out of our ears or something." He tilted his head as if thinking. "You know what?"
"What?"
"I think she knew what a loan is supposed to be," He leaned close to her. "She just didn't want to have to pay us back."
They burst out laughing. The night was pleasant after that. Lily still felt restless though and she didn't know why. Why did she feel like there was something she need to stop? Or to hide from?
She heard the TV come on the living room as she started on the dishes. She sighed. Daddy liked to watch the news every night when he came home but she didn't like it. Selecting a new CD from the basket near the player she replaced the one she was listening to earlier. Perhaps her dislike of the TV came from the times when Mom would leave it on when ever Dad was called out and the time when the TV was the one to tell them one Fire Fighter had been pushed of a two story building by a man high on drugs. It had been only a few minutes later when the phone rang. Mom had turned pale and had cried, "Oh God, No!"
Brriiing. Lily jumped, because at that moment the phone rang. She pressed a hand to her heart. "Lily? Do you want to get the phone?" Daddy called from the living room. She swallowed. It was okay. Everything was okay.
"Yes, Daddy, I'll get it." She rushed for the phone. "Hello?"
"Hi. This is Melody Shanon. Is Lillian there?" A soft girl's voice inquired.
"Um, yes. I am she."
"Hi, Lillian. Do you remember me from church?" Lily thought for a moment. She had met several girl at church, and she tried to place the name to a face. Melody? She was the tall brown haired one that had introduced her to the rest of the girls, right?
"Yes, I think so."
"I'm the tall one one. Probably seemed the most talkative and I hope I didn't seem over baring. I have a bad habit of seeming that way when I'm around new people." Her laugh seemed a bit nervous.
Lily smiled at her end of the phone. "Yes. I remember you."
"Okay. Good. Well, the reason I'm calling is because I know you're new around here and I was wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with me and a group of friends after church on Sunday. It will only be us girls. I just thought you might want to get out and get to know some of us better. Want to came?"
Lily got excited. It sounded fun. She wanted to find some friends and she really did need to buy some new clothes. She shook off the hope though. It would never work. How was Daddy supposed to spend the day if she wasn't there? Besides she had to drive him home after church.
"That sounds fun, but I can't." Lily finally said disappointed.
"Oh. Okay." There was a pause. Had Lily hurt her feelings?
"I really would love to come. It's not that I don't want to." Lily hurried to say.
"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I just thought I'd ask." Melody's bright and cheer reply encouraged Lily that she had not hurt her feels.
"Well, thank you for asking me."
"Hey, no problem. Maybe some other time?"
Lily hesitated. "Yeah, maybe."
"Great. Well, I should go. I know it's late. If you ever want to hang out just give me a ring, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you."
"Yep. Okay, I'll go now. Good Night. See you at church, Lillian."
"Yeah, I'll see you. Good night." Lily put the phone down. She wished she could of gone. It would have been fun. She turned. "Oh! Daddy. I didn't know you were there."
Daddy leaned his elbows on the arm of his chair. "I put it in stealth mode." He teased then asked, "Who called?"
"One of the girl from church. Melody -Shanon, I think her name was." Lily went back to unloading the dishwasher she had left open.
"That's nice. I'm glad your getting to know some of the girl here. Why did she call?"
Lily shrugged. "She just invited me to go shopping after church."
Daddy smiled and his eyes sparkled. "Really? That's good. Are you going?"
Lily dropped her eyes. He would want her to go. "Um- no. I said I couldn't."
Daddy frowned. "Why not?"
Lily push the glass cups further back into the cabinet. "You know I couldn't, Daddy."
"I don't see why not."
"Well-" Lily pulled a pan from the dishwasher. "For one, I have to bring you home after church."
"Is that all? Why don't you bring me home after church and then go meet her at the mall?"
Lily turned on him. "What? But- who would stay with you?"
Daddy laughed. "Who says anyone needs to stay with me?"
"But-"
"Go. I know you want to. I'll be fine for the afternoon." Lily knew she couldn't hide the fact she wanted to go from Daddy. He smiled. "Besides, it's good to be alone sometimes to think and to pray."
Lily wanted to believe she could go. Would it really be all right? "Are you sure?" She asked.
"Yes, I'm sure." Daddy shook his head as if he couldn't understand why she was so worried about it. "Call your friend and tell her you'll go."
A smile spilled across Lily's face. "Well- okay!" She put her arms around him and gave the top of his head a kiss. "Thank you, Daddy."
"Just you get that phone call done, because we wont be doing any exploring tomorrow until you do."
Lily hugged him again. "Daddy, you are so funny."
Daddy raised his eyebrows, "What's so funny about taking care of my daughter because I love her?"
Lily stayed still a moment. "I love you, Daddy."
Bryce shifted his truck to park. He dropped his hand back on the steering wheel and looked over it a moment. It had been a tough night. Sherry had tried to make it easy on him, but putting off something like that is hard no mater what. He turned the key to off and pushed open his door. Mom's figure was at the window and he knew she had been waiting. He dropped his keys in his pocket and opened the back door of his blue F-150. He pulled out his bag and slung it over his shoulder.
He kicked off his boots on the steps, glanced at the River Est. sign hung beside the door with their address, 1942, on it, and opened the squeaky screen door. Mom sat on the couch. She was still in her pajamas and had a basket of cloths on the floor by her feet. She smiled at him. "Hello, Bryce."
Bryce dropped into the bench by the door to pull of his boots. "Hi."
Mom shook out one of his shirts and folded it over her knee. "How was work?"
He glanced up at her. It was coming. She was going to ask about Sherry. "Long."
"Oh, You must be tiered."
"Exhausted." He shoved his boots under the bench. "But I'll have the next twenty-four hours to sleep in."
Mom nodded. "How did it go with Sherry?"
And there it is. Bryce picked up his bag, walked into the hall, and tossed it on the floor at the foot of his bed. He returned to the living room, but Mom had gone into the kitchen, so he followed her there. She was about to clean up the breakfast she had eaten alone. Bryce opened the pantry, finding nothing that seemed to good he opened the fridge. He leaned on the counter and munched on the bag of Baby carrots he'd found. "It went okay." He finally answered.
Mom looked over at him. "That's good."
Bryce snapped off a bite of carrot. "Yeah."
"So, she took it well?" Mom asked.
Bryce shrugged. "We both had prayed about it and everything. She had come to the same decision as me."
Mom wiped her hands on a towel and came around the counter. She put a arm around him. "Then it's pretty certain then?"
Bryce took a breath to control his feelings. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry."
Bryce dropped an arm over Mom's shoulders returned her hug. "It's okay, Mom. God said 'no,' and he'll help me accept that. It's not like it's the first time."
"I'm proud of you, Son."
"I know," Bryce said with a smile.
"Bryce-" Mom held up a finger.
"I do know, Mom. I can't help that, now, can I?"
Mom returned to her dishes laughing. It was ease to make Mom smile and Bryce was glad of that. Life was pretty empty, especially right now. He yawned and stertched. "Well, I'm ganna go shower and get some sleep."
"You had a pretty hard night?"
"It wasn't to bad. We had only three calls, but mostly I just couldn't sleep."
Mom nodded. "That's understandable. Sleep tight."
"Good Morning."
"Good Morning?"
"It is Morning."
Mom laughed. "I guess it is."
"Ready?" Daddy asked.
Lily shut the picnic basket. "Ready."
"Okay, let's go." Daddy put the blanket on his lap and rolled to the door. Lily followed behind with the lunch and snack stash. They packed the back of the car and Daddy went around to the passenger side. The car had a folding ramp so Daddy could get in and out himself. It was Daddy's retirement funds that helped pay for the car, other wise Lily would be getting him in and out all the time.
She hopped in the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition. Her and Daddy often went "exploring" on Saturdays. They would plan it through out the week and both looked forward to it. They were going to a park to just stroll around today but last week they had gone to a historic museum. It had been interesting but had ended up being a really long day and after that adventure they wanted to do some exploring that was a little more slow beet.
She put the address into the GPS. It wasn't to far away but she didn't know the roads around here very well yet. Lily put the car in drive and they started out. Most the drive was quiet except when they pointed out things of interest here and there.
They found the park easily. Lily hooked the lunch basket over the back of Daddy's chair, put on her backpack, and they started down the cement path. Lily breathed in some crisp fall air. It was a perfect day for a walk. It was just slightly chilly but it would warm up later.
"You know what?" Lily turn and looked at Daddy. His voice held a slight catch. He pushed his chair slowly along beside her. "Your mom and I went for our first date at park like this."
So that's why he seemed so forlorn. He was remembering Mom. "I remember that day so well. I was more scared of meeting with her then facing our old drill instructor, but it turned out to one of the happiest days of my life." He lost the distant look in his eyes and smiled at Lily. "You know what else?" Lily shook her head. "It was at the same park that your Mom told me about you coming."
Lily smiled. "Really?"
"Yep. That was one of the happiest day of my life too." Daddy winked at her.
Lily was happy Daddy was sharing this all with her. They had reached a "Y" and Lily pointed down one of the paths. "Let's go that way. I looked at the map and I want to save the best of last."
Daddy grinned. "Lead the way." They walked on and he asked, "What was one of the happiest days of your life?"
Lily paused. She wasn't ready to answer such a question. She didn't know. She tried to come up with something. It definitely wasn't when Daddy had his accident or when Mom had died or anything that had happened because of those things. She shrugged. "I really enjoy our exploring together."
"I do too. But what about a memory with your mom?" Daddy asked. Lily glanced at him. Was he asking if she remember her mom? Oh course she remembered her mom. She had only died three years ago.
"I-" She stopped. She wanted to say some really great thing about her Mom, tell some really wonderful memory, but really, when she thought of her Mom she only felt sadness blotting out all the joy those day once held. "I remember- Christmas shopping. It was so fun and we would spend hours choosing just the right gift for you." She said no more, but looked away, fighting tears.
"You and your Mom always gave me great gifts," Daddy answered. He seemed to want say more but stopped.
They went on and there was a change in subject. Lily didn't enjoy the day so well after that. She managed to stay cheerful, but couldn't push of the ache that had gathered around her heart, and for some reason she had a sense of fear lingering in the back of her mind.
"So what is the 'best' you want to save for last?" Daddy asked after they made a pit stop.
"Uh-uh-uh." Lily shook a finger at him. "I wont tell you, so don't try to make me."
Daddy laughed. He tried guessing but Lily clamped her mouth shut and did make a peep. "I think it's just around here," Lily said when the came to a corner.
She was right. Turning the corner and coming through a small cluster of aspen trees a small lake stretched out before them. The sun, now high over head, glistened and sparkled over the clean blue surface. A few benches were scattered along the banks. "A perfect spot for our lunch." Lily smiled proudly and stretched a hand out to the lake. "What do you say?"
"Sounds good."
Lily spread her blanket out on the grass and Daddy parked his wheel chair near it. She took the food she had prepared and displayed over the blanket. There was subs, salad, pickles, milk, and donuts for desert. She stationed herself at Daddy's feet and they shared their meal while over looking the lake. Lily closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sun. It was warm and the cool fresh air that whiffed off the lake filled her lungs.
When she opened her eyes she found Daddy looking down at her. He smiled softly but a regret lingered about the corners of his eyes. "You're so grown up," he whispered. "Sometimes I wonder what happened to my little girl."
Lily laughed to keep the mood from going down the path it had taken earlier that morning. "I'm only eighteen, Daddy. That's not so grown up."
"Ah, but you are." His eyes turned from her face and gazed across the lake to the cattails on the other side. "You could-" He stopped.
"What? What where you going to say?" Lily wanted to know.
Daddy waved his hand as if to brush away a thought. "Nothing. Dads just have thought and worries is all."
"You're worried about me?" Lily search her mind for something she could have done to worry him.
"Every parent worries, Lily. Most the time it's about something they can't do anything about. That's when you've got to let it rest in God's hands." Daddy patted her head. "But you're a good girl. I'm thankful."
They started eating again. Lily watched a white seagull bob on the water. A cold breeze made her shiver and she pulled her sweater back on. She noted how raged it was and made a mental note to buy one the next day when she went shopping with Melody and the girls. The thought excited her. She couldn't wait until tomorrow.
Okay! Time for some questions:
1. Who was your favorite character?
Why?
2. Who was your least favorite character?
Why?
3. Which character did you wish had more personality?
4. Which character intrigued you the most?
5. Which part of the chapter had you the most interested?
6.Which cliff hanger did you hate the most? (This question is optional because I'm only sharing on chapter)
7. Any scenes unnecessary?
8. Did you feel the story?
9. Did the story flow well?
10.Any scenes you found long, confusing, or uninteresting?
11. Did you find the story realistic?
12. Any scenes that disappointed you?
13. Any other thoughts on this chapter?
If you enjoyed this let me know and I'll think about doing another chapter from one of my books with a Q&A for you!
I'm really looking forward to reading your answers!
~Kylie Nancy
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