On to 2020!

Picture Removed By Author

Happy New Year, All! Welcome 2020! I'm so excited to start this year! 

      I can actually write 2020! WOW!
How was 2019 to you? My 2019 was full of ups and downs. Good times, hard times, times that called for prayer, times that brought tears, times that brought smiles.
How can I ever tell all that happened in 2019?!
My brother joined the US Marines, that brought the biggest changes. Oh, 2019, you were so full. I sure learned a lot in the last year. I really can't tell you all that filled my heart and mind. Never in my life did I have such a full year. Perhaps not in activities but in learning and growing in the Lord.
 I look forward to filling 2020 with many memories, hopefully good ones, and I hope God blesses you all with a great year.
This year I start writing with a more bold and relaxed way. I've studied, read and thought. Looking at all my mistakes, I began to feel like a very poor writer. But looking back at my old free writings I see that they were better in a way. Oh, my story plots were a little unrealistic, the formats not well set up, but I wrote for the fun of writing. I explained better. I described better. I put heart into it.
  No, my writing weren't better then, than now. I've learned a lot and will learn a lot more. I can format my stories, correct and learn from my mistakes. The biggest mistake I've made was forgetting why I wrote. I used to write for fun, but after awhile I wanted to write well. I wanted people to notice and enjoy what I wrote. I compared my writings to others.
  I forgot along the way that I can't write like anyone else. I write like me. I think like me. I can't write like anyone else. I may not have written well but I wrote as a hobby. When I started writing for others it took the enjoyment out of writing. I have been stressed out about writing fast, so I could getting chapters on my blog, and soon I could not enjoy writing any more. I got anxiety worrying over what people thought of what I wrote. Soon I thought my writings had to be PERFECT to the letter. Literally.
 One day I thought to myself. I NEED to write today! I've been promising and promising I would share The Buck Brothers on my blog.People are going to get tired of waiting. Then I grumbled to myself. "I don't feel like writing any more!"
  That's when the big realization hit me. I used to LOVE writing. What happened to me? I ponder it for several days, getting more and more anxious about my blog. I even thought of quitting blogging all together. Well, I slowly put the pieces together. (It didn't take that long, but it felt like it) What got it all lined up in my mind was explaining things to my Mom one day. Then it made sense.
  I was putting to much pressure on myself. I was thinking about how terrible my writings are compared to so 'n so's. I was trying to hard to please others. I can't write well if I'm worried to much about what people think. I need to write for myself and for God. No one else.
  Writing used to relax me. I missed that and wanted it back. After I realized why I no longer wanted to write and got it straightened out, you know what? I CAN WRITE AND ENJOY IT AGAIN!!! I can put my heart into it again. Oh, how good it feels too!
  It's like a lot of things in life. We begin to wonder to much what other people think of us. We think people are judging us and think we're stupid or weird in  one way or another. You know, It really doesn't matter. The question is, What does GOD think of us? Are we doing right in his eyes? Are we doing are best for HIM? If the answer is,"Yes", then what others think of us and how others treat us does not matter in the least! God knows us inside and out and HE loves us.
 I've learned a lot in the last months and have come out of the struggles on a better side! I can't wait to get back to work on my books!!! Are you, my fabulous followers, ready to join me?
 About posting my books on here. Yes, I am still planning on that. Looking forward to it, actually! Like I said, I've been studying a lot on format and such, so I'm going over The Buck Brothers again. My cousin will be going over it for me, but I plan on sharing it with you after I'm done correcting. My cousin going over it will be more of a learning experience for me to compare with my work and learn from my mistakes.
  I'm all gun-ho about this now and hope my blog is more encouraging and fun from now on! So, what do you say? Join me?
  (Oh, and I'd like to thank anyone who has tagged me that I never got around to doing. I'm glad I was thought of!)
 On to 2020!!
~Kylie Nancy